Kansas: Losers of the ‘Best Upset’ Award Two Years Straight!

Let me be honest with you all here; I did not watch the ESPYs last night. Not one second of them. The ESPYs to me are the biggest waste of time when it comes to award shows, even more so than other complete time-wasters such as the Grammys, Golden Globes, and oftentimes the Emmys. But while all those award shows and more are frustrating due to the nominations (how can the whole cast of ‘Modern Family’ get nominated for an Emmy and ‘Community’ is completely shut out!?), the ESPYs are pointless because every sport already has an award. Outside of the requisite win-it-all trophies, every sport has their fair share of honors to give to various players and teams during the season. There are rookies of the year (sometimes on offense and defense, or in different leagues), sixth men of the year, MVPs, all-pro teams, all-pro second teams, all-pro/NBA third teams, citizenship awards, all-defensive teams, and so on and so forth and so on and so forth. Sports gets to have their own playoffs and championships and they get to decide a winner, and that’s why the ESPYs are just another big publicity stunt for the always-growing Worldwide Leader in sports.

Ranting aside (seriously, no major Emmy noms for ‘Community’? What the f-) there are a few awards not already given to players in teams in their sports. There are also those wacky skits and the obligatory “In Memoriam” video… although they apparently managed to screw that up by omitting Paul Splittorff from this year’s video, so way to go ESPYs on that one. So yeah, I feel no need to watch the ESPYs, even when Kansas has been in the running for the ‘Best Upset’ award for two straight years now… on the losing side. But wait, what am I even saying? Both Kansas upsets actually won the award for ‘Best Upset’ in their losses to UNI and VCU in the past two NCAA Tournaments. Ah yes, if there is one thing that the ESPYs are good for, it’s reminding the world that Kansas is home to a pretty big number of loud, obnoxious, and arrogant fans that always seem to think that Kansas has some sort of golden ticket that gives them secret powers to allow them to win the National Championship every single year! Of course, that did work in 2008, but outside of that one year Bill Self is 0-fer in the Elite Eight while coaching the Jayhawks, and he always seems to find his teams on the wrong side of the scoreboard against teams that many general sports fans have never heard of or didn’t expect to put up much of a fight.

So yes, I am a bitter MU fan that loves to point out when Kansas teams get big-headed and wind up losing to a team with no recognizable name on their jerseys. Maybe that loss to VCU wasn’t really an upset given the circumstances that the Rams had already beaten the likes of Georgetown, Purdue, and Florida State to reach that Elite Eight against Kansas. But you just know that deep down those Jayhawk players had egos just too big to realize how dangerous the Rams were. Thus, the offense got sloppy, the perimeter defense got equally sloppy, and suddenly those silly fictional birds were on their way back to Lawrence, the only variable was time.

Hell, just typing this out probably means that MU is going to go undefeated, get the number one overall seed and then become the first team to lose to a 16-seed. Such is life when you root for a team that can’t get the big win, yet always loves to make cracks at the more successful program when they get upset. But really, I don’t care. If I have no pride and am just a Tiger fan with an inferiority complex that has to see Kansas lose more than I have to see Missouri win then so be it. I just can’t stand those gigantic egos over in Lawrence. So without further adieu, back to what I love doing the most, which is mocking Kansas. Tally ho!