Truman's Tales
Fansided

The definitive Missouri football opponent tier list

By Kyle Jones

ISTANBUL, TURKEY - JULY 27: Tigers are seen at Lion Park of Tuzla Viaport Marina hosting two Bengal tigers, two Siberian tigers and three Bengal tiger cubs, within International Tiger Day in Istanbul, Turkey on July 27, 2019. (Photo by Erhan Sevenler/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)
ISTANBUL, TURKEY - JULY 27: Tigers are seen at Lion Park of Tuzla Viaport Marina hosting two Bengal tigers, two Siberian tigers and three Bengal tiger cubs, within International Tiger Day in Istanbul, Turkey on July 27, 2019. (Photo by Erhan Sevenler/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images) /
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Maybe it’s the summer heat, maybe it’s my recent YouTube video history, but I’ve been thinking of tier lists lately. So, without further ado, it’s time to rank Missouri football’s 2021 opponents. But how am I ranking these teams, you ask?

Easy. By how their mascots would do in a fight.

We’re talking hand/claw/paw-to-hand/claw/paw combat, and we’re taking mascot names literally. For example, Alabama’s mascot is not an elephant, it is a crimson tide, a big red wave.

We’ll be working with five tiers, S (the very best), A (pretty good), B (OK), C (Not good), F (the worst).

F-Tier

South Carolina Gamecocks

Missouri takes on a few birds this season, but the gamecock is the bottom of the barrel.

While these roosters were bred to fight, the fact of the matter is that they stand no chance against the other animals/people that represent Missouri’s opponents this year.

South Carolina will visit Missouri on November 13, and will prove a tough opponent as the Tigers look to finish their season strong.

STA CRUZ, PHILIPPINES – FEBRUARY 19: (EDITORS NOTE: Image contains graphic content) Roosters in a match in a six-day cup of the blood-sport now being broadcasted online, on February 19, 2021 in Sta Cruz, Laguna, south of Manila, Philippines. (Cockfighting, locally called Sabong, is a popular pastime and sports in the Philippines dating back as far as pre-colonial era. It is believed to be a billion dollar industry, according to authorities. Although there is really no nationwide ban on the sport unregulated Sabong is outlawed in the country. Big cup derbies and online cockfights called e-sabong are sanctioned and gaining more popularity since the lockdown started. The COVID-19 pandemic pushed the government to temporarily ban all forms of cockfighting to help curb the spread of the coronavirus disease. But that didnt stop many Filipinos to go out and pursue the sport. Cockfighting may be a pastime for the rich, but for us poor, it is a source of livelihood, says Ronnie de Leon, 48, who has been working as a hired informal veterinarian for injured game fowls for over two decades. As the Philippine economy continue to slide, many flock from all over to join the blood sport game for them to take a chance to win something for their families, as well as many also place bets online on this gambling sport that is now easily accessible online.(Photo by Jes Aznar/Getty Images)
STA CRUZ, PHILIPPINES – FEBRUARY 19: (EDITORS NOTE: Image contains graphic content) Roosters in a match in a six-day cup of the blood-sport now being broadcasted online, on February 19, 2021 in Sta Cruz, Laguna, south of Manila, Philippines. (Cockfighting, locally called Sabong, is a popular pastime and sports in the Philippines dating back as far as pre-colonial era. It is believed to be a billion dollar industry, according to authorities. Although there is really no nationwide ban on the sport unregulated Sabong is outlawed in the country. Big cup derbies and online cockfights called e-sabong are sanctioned and gaining more popularity since the lockdown started. The COVID-19 pandemic pushed the government to temporarily ban all forms of cockfighting to help curb the spread of the coronavirus disease. But that didnt stop many Filipinos to go out and pursue the sport. Cockfighting may be a pastime for the rich, but for us poor, it is a source of livelihood, says Ronnie de Leon, 48, who has been working as a hired informal veterinarian for injured game fowls for over two decades. As the Philippine economy continue to slide, many flock from all over to join the blood sport game for them to take a chance to win something for their families, as well as many also place bets online on this gambling sport that is now easily accessible online.(Photo by Jes Aznar/Getty Images) /

Georgia Bulldogs

Sorry Bulldogs, but you simply don’t match up pound-for-pound against many of Missouri’s other foes. Bulldogs can back up their bark with bite, but they can also be the cutest and most docile companions around.

While the Dawgs may dominate the SEC East on the field, and will be a serious late-season test for Missouri this year, from a fighting standpoint they just don’t stack up.

ANTALYA, TURKEY – MARCH 17: 3 year-old Tokyo, French Bulldog, reacts her food when she recognizes it on the hands of her owner in Antalya, Turkey on March 17, 2021. (Photo by Mustafa Ciftci/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)
ANTALYA, TURKEY – MARCH 17: 3 year-old Tokyo, French Bulldog, reacts her food when she recognizes it on the hands of her owner in Antalya, Turkey on March 17, 2021. (Photo by Mustafa Ciftci/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images) /
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