Maybe it’s the summer heat, maybe it’s my recent YouTube video history, but I’ve been thinking of tier lists lately. So, without further ado, it’s time to rank Missouri football’s 2021 opponents. But how am I ranking these teams, you ask?
Easy. By how their mascots would do in a fight.
We’re talking hand/claw/paw-to-hand/claw/paw combat, and we’re taking mascot names literally. For example, Alabama’s mascot is not an elephant, it is a crimson tide, a big red wave.
We’ll be working with five tiers, S (the very best), A (pretty good), B (OK), C (Not good), F (the worst).
South Carolina Gamecocks
Missouri takes on a few birds this season, but the gamecock is the bottom of the barrel.
While these roosters were bred to fight, the fact of the matter is that they stand no chance against the other animals/people that represent Missouri’s opponents this year.
South Carolina will visit Missouri on November 13, and will prove a tough opponent as the Tigers look to finish their season strong.
Sorry Bulldogs, but you simply don’t match up pound-for-pound against many of Missouri’s other foes. Bulldogs can back up their bark with bite, but they can also be the cutest and most docile companions around.
While the Dawgs may dominate the SEC East on the field, and will be a serious late-season test for Missouri this year, from a fighting standpoint they just don’t stack up.